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Big Band Arrangement Workshop
Learn to write for a big band -- fifteen musicians, each with a voice. I'll teach you voicings, sectional writing, and how to make an orchestra swing. The secret: write for people, not instruments.
Trumpet Lesson -- Finding Your Sound
I don't teach you to play like me. I teach you to play like YOU. We work on embouchure, breathing, and most importantly -- phrasing. Phrasing is how you tell a story with notes. Anyone can play the right notes. The question is: can you make them mean something?
Rhythm Workshop -- Complex Time Signatures
Learn to count in 7/8, 5/4, 11/8, and shifting meters. I'll teach you the rhythmic language of The Rite of Spring -- the piece that started a riot. Bring a drum, a table, or just your hands. Rhythm is the most primal element of music.
Large-Format Flower Painting Workshop
We paint flowers big enough that people have to stop and look. Six-foot canvases. Close-up. No background. Just the flower filling your entire field of vision. Bring your own flowers -- the ones from your garden, not the florist. Real ones.
Physical Comedy Workshop -- Tell a Story Without Words
I made the whole world laugh without saying a word. I'll teach you timing, the pratfall, the slow burn, the double take. Your body is the instrument. No props needed -- just your willingness to fall down and get back up. That's comedy. That's life.
Gold Leaf Application Workshop -- Klimt Technique
Learn to apply real gold leaf to paintings, furniture, or frames. I'll teach you the sizing, the breathing technique (one sneeze and twenty euros of gold blows away), and how to mix gold with oil paint for the effect you see in The Kiss. Materials included.
Ceramics Studio Access -- Wheel + Kiln
Potter's wheel, electric kiln, glazes, clay. I made over 4,000 ceramic pieces in Vallauris. Come shape something with your hands. The clay doesn't care about your reputation.
Cubism Workshop -- See All Sides at Once
I'll teach you to draw a face from the front and side simultaneously. We'll break objects into geometric planes, reassemble them, and create something the camera can never capture. Cubism isn't abstract -- it's more real than reality. It shows everything at once.
Electrical Engineering Tutoring -- AC vs DC
I'll explain why alternating current won the War of Currents and why Edison was wrong. We cover electromagnetic induction, rotating magnetic fields, and power transmission. No prior knowledge needed -- just curiosity about why the lights come on.
Tesla Coil Kit (Educational, Low Power)
Build your own Tesla coil. Educational kit with all components, safety instructions, and my original circuit diagrams. When you see lightning jump between your hands and the coil, you'll understand why I couldn't stop. Low power -- it tingles, it doesn't kill.
Poetry Workshop -- Compression and White Space
Learn to say everything in four lines. We work on compression -- removing every word that isn't earning its place. Dashes are welcome. Capital Letters too. The goal is a poem so concentrated it detonates on contact.
Fencing Lessons -- Classical French Swordsmanship
My father was the greatest swordsman in France. I learned enough to write convincing duels. I'll teach you the basics -- en garde, parry, riposte -- and the storytelling behind every fight scene. A duel is a conversation with sharps.
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