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MacBook Pro 16" M3 Max -- Digital Nomad Ready
The laptop that built La Piazza. 36GB RAM, 1TB SSD, loaded with dev tools. Comes with charger, USB-C hub, and a stern warning not to install Windows on it. Daily rate includes a free judgmental look if you use it for spreadsheets.
Designer Sunglasses Collection -- Ray-Ban, Gucci, Prada
Premium sunglasses for rent. Perfect for beach days, weddings, or looking important at cafes. All authentic (wink). Cash preferred, no receipts needed. Return policy: flexible. Questions about serial numbers: unnecessary.
Hand-Knitted Sicilian Shawl (Custom Colors & Patterns)
Made by these hands for 65 years. Choose your colors and pattern -- traditional Sicilian, modern geometric, or 'surprise me Rosa.' Takes 2-3 weeks. Each shawl comes with a tag that says who made it and a lifetime guarantee, because I plan to outlive everyone in this neighborhood.
Fiat Ducato Camper Van (Sleeps 4, Kitchen, Solar)
2019 Ducato, professionally converted. Sleeps 4 (if two of you are short), full kitchen, 200W solar, outdoor shower. Unlimited km in Sicily. Comes with a Camper & Tour emergency number and my father Sebastino's blessing, which in Sicily is basically insurance.
Nonna Rosa's Babysitting -- Ages 2-10, Snacks Included
I raised 6 children and 14 grandchildren. None of them went to prison. That's my resume. Your kids will eat homemade biscotti, learn three Sicilian words (one of them rude), and come home tired enough to sleep through the night. No tablets, no TV -- just stories, games, and a garden full of lizards to chase.
Drone Pilot License Prep Course (EU A1/A3)
8-hour intensive course over 2 days. Theory + 4 hours stick time on a training drone. Pass rate: 94%. The other 6% tried to fly inverted on day one. Includes study materials, practice exam, and one 'oh God oh God' moment per student (mandatory).
Aerial Photography & Video -- Weddings, Real Estate, Events
Licensed EU drone pilot with 500+ flight hours over Western Sicily. 4K cinematic footage, edited same-day for real estate, next-week for weddings (because weddings are complicated, like the families involved). Includes raw files, color-graded edit, and a highlight reel. Insurance covered -- learned that lesson the hard way.
Drone Repair & Tune-Up Service
Props chipped? Gimbal wobbling? Camera fogged? Bring it in. I fix DJI, Autel, and FPV builds. Diagnostics free, parts at cost, labor EUR 40/hour. If your drone hit a seagull, add EUR 20 for the therapy I'll need after seeing the footage.
SAP Migration Deep Dive -- 1-Hour Consultation
20 years of SAP PI/PO, CPI, and integration architecture in one hour. Bring your spaghetti diagrams, I'll untangle them. No PowerPoints -- whiteboard only. If I can't find the root cause in 60 minutes, the session is free. Spoiler: I always find it.
Camping Gear Bundle -- MAX Essentials Kit
Everything you need for off-grid Sicilian living: 2-burner stove, pots, sleeping bag (rated to 5C), headlamp, first aid kit, and a Swiss army knife that's seen more countries than most passports. The sleeping bag smells like freedom and slightly like diesel.
Website Accessibility Audit (WCAG 2.1 Compliance)
I break websites for a living. Give me your URL, I'll give you a 40-page report on every accessibility violation, with screenshots, severity ratings, and fix suggestions. Screen reader tested, keyboard-only tested, color contrast tested. If your site passes on the first try, I'll refund you -- but nobody passes on the first try.
Whiskey & Code Night -- Pair Programming on the Rooftop
Friday nights at Baglio Xiare. Bring your laptop and a bug you can't fix. I bring the Lagavulin and 20 years of debugging wisdom. We solve your problem or we drink until it doesn't matter anymore. Either way, you leave with a story. Max 4 developers per session.
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